Run to Way
by lifeisawesome
Summary: As I was driving home I couldn’t think of what Jake said. I couldn’t believe we weren’t friends. Next thing I know, I see I drove myself to the Cullen house.A thought struck me. Denali. What if they would change me? Muti POVs, little swearing.
1. Prologue

**Run to Way**

**Prologue**

**Bella POV**

* * *

I liked being a vampire. Everything was so _clear_. So _there_. Like I had never really looked at anything. It was like I had needed glasses all my life and am seeing the world with them for the first time.

And I saw things so tiny that I've never seen them. And I could smell and taste new things. It was strange in such a wonderful way. A mystifying experience.

At this point I fully understood Edward. I was weighing him down. How could anyone not be distracted when they could see this? Why would he want to turn his back on his nature? On this? Even I didn't see why he kept trying to pretend to be human.

I didn't expect there to be a difference in his emotions. But I just couldn't stay there. And I had to have proof that he actually existed.

Yet at this moment I had a problem.

I couldn't stay, but I _had_ to stay.

Love really sucked sometimes.


	2. Chapter 1 Hurt

**Run to Way**

**Chapter 1. Hurt**

**Bella POV**

As I was driving home I couldn't think of what Jake said. I couldn't believe we weren't friends. This hurt. This really hurt. I couldn't think. Not of this, not of _him_. _Everything_ seemed to be breaking me these days.

And now, even my personal sun was carving out holes in my heart.

I couldn't think right now, so I just let my instincts take me back home. Driving the same path everyday- how could I get lost?

Besides, I haven't gone to pieces_ yet_- I shouldn't push it.

Next thing I know, I'm at the worst possible place, because it was exactly where I wanted to be. I look out my car window to see I drove myself to the Cullen house.

I did end up driving myself home after all. My empty, miserable house. I wished my lonely house had my family in it again. And I wished they were back and with me.

I remembered the first time I came here after they left. How I didn't go in because I didn't want to see what they did or didn't abandon. This time I couldn't leave to see my Jacob. I had nothing.

With that revelation I decided nothing really mattered anymore. I was awake- out of my numbness- and I had no way of dulling the pain or healing. Without Jake, I would never get better, and would be forever be tormented by unrelenting pain from these gaping holes.

I took a chance. I got out of the car and started toward the house. What difference would a little pain _now_ make? If I went home now I might curl up in a little ball and die anyway. Actually that sounded better than the falling asleep that involved waking up. No bad dreams, no cruel reality to wake up to…

I acted on impulse. I walked up to the point I stopped last and then kept walking. I was _going_ into this house. Just a look, and then I'll leave.

I stopped at the door. Suddenly this didn't seem like such a good idea. At all. But I couldn't back out now. I couldn't. I needed to see, just this once…

I walked inside and it was really dark, I looked for the switch and flipped it. Nope. Still dark. Of course. Why would they still be paying for the electric bills?

I waited for my eyes to adjust. Then I saw _it_. The piano. Oh, God, I was right. It was abandoned just like me. He probably just bought a new one. It hurt worse than I had imagined.

My head started spinning. My hands instantly flew to my torso. Knowing I did not consciously do this, I hated how this had become habit.

The thought barely passed my mind. I_ did_ fall to pieces at this point. I tried to focus on my breathing. This was hard to do. I was in_ his_ house- how could I _not_ think of _him_?

But I had to ride this out if I was going to ever get home. What felt like eons later (which was probably only 40 minutes, but still a long time to be in pain), I was able to move.

I was then able to get a better look of the place. _Everything _was still there. _He _said Esme was an interior designer, and designed the entire place. I guess she couldn't just move her work or take it down. Maybe Esme would want to make a new design. Or… No I wasn't going to think it. But my brain was acting really masochistic. That they were planning on coming back. Stupid me.

I laughed darkly. Even if they were it would be after all the inferior humans had died. Humans like me.

That thought should have hurt. No, it did hurt. I am in a ton of pain right now. But it did not send me spiraling into a dark, painful abyss, like it should have.

I tried to pinpoint exactly what was keeping me sane at this point. Then I reached an unsurprising conclusion. It was the piano. The thing that jabbed a knife in my heart and twisted just before is what was letting me hang on. _His_ presence lingered on it. It was like the voice in my head. It didn't hurt like the other memories. _He_ was still saving me- even when _he_ was gone.

With that, I decided I would get through the pain (now- no telling what this would do to me later) if I looked around a little bit more.

I was acting entirely on impulse as I headed up the stairs. I was going to enjoy myself before this wonderful bubble bursts and I become grounded again.

I ignored all else as I headed to _his _room. Even now I couldn't say _his_ name. No, not even now. Alice's room… Carlisle's office… I walked right past them. I got to the end of the hall. No ironic cross. Of course.

I headed toward Ed- _his _room. I flinched. This house was weakening my nicely built self defense, causing me to break my rules.

I paused at the door. Still uneasy. I… I … I couldn't do this. I ran away from the door as fast as I possibly could. I went into Alice's room instead.

I looked around. There were _still_ so many _clothes_. I can't say I was surprised. I allowed myself a small, very small, smile. Of course _Alice_ would just buy all new clothes.

I looked out wall/window. I noticed for the first time it had stopped raining. I also noticed my soaking clothes and remembered my Jacob. No, not _my_ Jacob anymore. I started to cry.

I headed downstairs, still in tears. I was getting out of here. I am going home. I stopped when I saw the keypad by the wall. It brought back so many memories. James, the hunt, Laurent, Victoria.

I shuddered. They were after me. Maybe it was a good thing Jake and I weren't… Why? Why did Sam say we couldn't be friends? Why did Jake listen? I was so mad!

I remembered my thoughts from earlier. I wanted to be a vampire. A thought struck me. Laurent said he was in... Denali. No! Bad, bad, bad! I can't hope! No hoping! But still… What… What if they would change me? My thoughts were racing. They let him in. They might... why wouldn't they? I mean, there wasn't much reason not to...

This, this might work. And if it didn't… well, it's not like I have much to lose.

I stopped thinking. I grabbed a little cash from one of the Cullens' hiding spots, ran upstairs and changed into some of Alice's clothes. I felt a little bad about taking their things, but I figured they wouldn't mind _too_ much. Besides. They owed me this much. At least, that's what I was trying to convince myself.

I was half way out the door before I stopped myself. I ran up two flights of stairs and flung open _his_ door. I needed proof. I needed someway to assure myself that even if they did change me, as unlikely as that was, I would have some way of remembering _him_. Always.

I took a few CDs and shoved them into Alice's pockets.

I took a moment to wallow. This was… excruciating. I couldn't breathe at all. I forced my way out of the room.

Before I knew it I was in my truck heading north.


	3. Chapter 2 I am worse than the leech

**Run to Way**

**Chapter 2. I Am Worse Than the Leech**

**Jake POV**

* * *

I felt sick. Disgusted. I was such a piece of shit. She looked worse when she left than she did when I first saw her.

Course. Now she was ditched and betrayed _twice_. Why wouldn't she look like the fricken dead? I was the biggest ass. I knew what would happen to her if I _ever_ left her. Hell, she looked bad when she went home. So what the frick did I just do!?

I started thinking. There had to be _some_ way to tell her. The worst part is I already did!

Shit, I gotta think. Huh. Wait! I _did_ already tell her! I just need her to understand…

"Hey, Charlie," Billy said on the phone, stopping my plotting.

"What? Course I did. Yeah, three hours ago. What?"

I had sort've been expecting a call from Charlie. I bet he would freak out when he saw zombie Bella again. The zombie Bella I brought about.

But now I was confused. Billy wasn't the rock I thought he'd be- pretending nothing was fishy. He looked… I dunno, scared. That scared _me_.

"What do you mean? She didn't? I...I'm so sorry, Billy. I'll have the boys on it right away. No, don't... No, you're right. Oh, Charlie. Talking to Jake. He said they couldn't be friends anymore. I _know_, Charlie. You think...? No, oh no. Oh God. Charlie..."

He hung up and looked at me with a pitying expression. It reminded me of the way he looked at Bella earlier. But there was this fear again, too. Like he was afraid something horrible happened.

"Jake, I don't know how to tell you this…"

I already didn't like the way this conversation was going. I felt myself shaking- jumping to the worst possible conclusions, which didn't help didn't help a bit.

"Jake, listen, stay calm. Bella, well she…"

I was too far gone for this.

"Spit it out!"

"Jake, Bella's missing. Charlie said she never made it home."

Oh God. Bella… What if she… It would be my… Or what if the redheaded leech… She could have… Or even… Bella couldn't… I couldn't…

I couldn't finish any of my thoughts. I ran out of the house and phased ignoring my clothes as they fell down like confetti.

I howled the loudest howl I had ever let out. The pack wouldn't ignore me _now_. I heard the pack tune in slowly, so I howled again, trying to get louder.

I was already heading toward the meeting spot. The second howl really got them worried.

_Jake, Jake, what's wrong? _I heard Embry. He sounded the most concerned. I howled again.

_What is it Jake? _Sam asked.

_Bella! _Was all I could get through, so I just let my thoughts go back to what Billy said.

_Calm down, Jake. _Sam told me

_Calm down? CALM DOWN!? What if you heard that EMILY was missing with a crazed leech running around, huh!? Or better yet?! They... _I couldn't finish, but they knew the rest.

_That_ got to him.

_I see where you're coming from, but we can't just rush into things. We'll split into twos. Jared, Paul, you two go search by the beach. Embry, go with Jake. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. Jake, don't do anything without thinking. _

_What are _you_ going to do? _I heard Jared ask.

_I'm staying here. Listen for updates, and protect La Push. Listen. If you find Bella, howl, shift and bring her back. If you see the leech, lure her to the other group, and kill her together._

_What if the leech lover's bitten? _Paul asked the question I didn't want answered.

_Kill her too. _

I growled, daring anyone to try.

_Jake. She won't be your Bella anymore. _I growled again.

_Besides. She'll be a new one. Those things are supposed to be worse. _

I couldn't think. So I ran. I was _not_ going to let Bella get bitten.

I ran off ignoring Embry. Leech heads were going to roll.


	4. Chapter 3 Drive

**Run to Way**

**Chapter 3. Drive**

**Bella POV**

* * *

It took me four days to arrive in Denali. Way longer than it should have.

The drive was horrible. I had to stop at a motel just off the border because I was too tired to keep driving. Then, I slept until noon. Normally I would be grateful for the sleep- no nightmares. But, naturally, the day I _want_ to wake up, my body decides to spite me.

Then the guy at the toll booth on the border wouldn't let me pass. He said he was worried because I looked like hell and thought seriously thout I was dying. I really couldn't blame him, so I told him I probably was and knew of a cure in Alaska. He freaked a bit and asked if I was contagious. It took me even more time to convince him no, I wasn't. I really shouldn't have said anything.

During the nights I've had to use my stolen money buy rooms in hotels and inns to sleep in. Once I got to Alaska I took all of my money out of bank.

While in Canada, every so often I would think of something that would make me have to stop driving and pull over. If I thought of _him_, or _his_ family, or Jake, or Charlie my heart would break a little more and it would be dangerous to keep going. I wouldn't even be able to keep an eye on the road. Just my luck to get into an accident. Not now, now that I have some distant form of hope.

Hope. I know I shouldn't be _hoping_. But I couldn't _help_ it. I might be able to become like him. And even if I'm still not enough for him… I could… I mean… it's not like I'll be stalking him, just hoping he'll change his mind. And I'd be the proof I need that he existed. Like the dark proof Laurent was.

Ahh! This is crazy! I stopped the car again and grabbed my torso. This is why it took me _four_ days.

The only thing keeping me going was the desperate voice in the back of my head. _No. Please. Don't do this. Please. Go back to Charlie. Please. _The voice even cracked a few times in the right places.

I continued driving until I reached a small town by the reserve. Now the hard part. 1) Denali is a national park- if I was ever going to find the coven, I was going to have to hike to get to the house. And 2) even if I did the hiking, their house would take forever to find. They probably placed it in either an inaccessible place to humans, or somewhere obscure to a non-immortal eye.

At least I had names. Tanya, Irina, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar. _They_ told me while I was still interesting. When it was still a possibility I was going to meet them.

I felt tears stream down my face. Jeeze. This was ridiculous. I was so _stupid_. I can't believe how dumb I could…

I looked around the room I bought for the next week. It was just some small inn. Why was I here? I had nothing. No future, no family, no best friend, no handsome, too-good-for-me boyfriend. I didn't even have a _toothbrush_ for God's sake!

I was sick of this. I couldn't even quit while I was behind. I couldn't do _anything_. I wasn't going to find the vampires and… I… I was going home. I can't do this. I wasn't thinking.

But I had to try. At least try. If I didn't I would always think it would've happened. No matter how much I know it wouldn't. I had this room for one week and if I couldn't find them, well I… then I'd think about it then. But first I needed a toothbrush. And clothes. I've been wearing Alice's jeans and shirt for the past few days and it didn't even fit me right. And shampoo and conditioner and toothpaste and all the other lame human necessities.

A supermarket was just a block a way so I walked. I realized that I needed to buy a coat, too. Damn it.

I was walking out with my new, nice, warm, comfy coat when I heard two voices walking in front of me. Two very smooth, calming voices. Voices I've never heard, but were familiar. Voices that gave hope.

"Tanya, I still don't see why we had to come here. He should be buying the couch. _He_ broke it. _He_ should pay for it," said the woman in front of me. She had short pale whitish blond hair. It looked silver almost. The skin was pale. Not uncommon, but paler than everyone I've seen since _him_.

Tanya. I heard _him_ growl.

"Irina," the woman sounded exhausted like they had this conversation before. She had strawberry blonde hair in perfect curls. "You know he didn't mean, too. And you know he _is_ paying for it. He would be here himself if it weren't for the fact his family had a problem they had to solve back at their home. Besides. It's good to get out every once and a while. Interact with the humans a little. _Have some fun. _The guy at the Art Van would be so fun to play with, don't you think?"

Irina. _He_ started on a string of profanities. _What are they _thinking_? Laurent obviously isn't committed. How could they let him? That is so utterly careless. _

I hadn't realized by breathing changed until they gasped and turned. They had dark gold eyes.

_Bella. Go. Go home NOW. Don't do this. Don't. _I mentally shook my head. And the voice became pleading. _Bella, no. This isn't for you. Don't, Bella, please. Please, go home. They don't know, yet. You still have time._

I smiled the biggest smile I've been able to manage since my birthday. Even bigger than when I was with Jacob. I ran up to them and I could see they were debating what to do and why I was running at them. That proves how obsessed I was. I _ran_. And I realized how Edward was right. Always the wrong reactions. Vampires were a pleasant sight now. That is really sick.

"Please, please bite me. Please. I know what you are and I want it. I _need_ it. Please. I'll even be a vegetarian. Or not if you don't want me to! And I won't abuse it or tell anyone. I, just, please." I knew I was begging, and I didn't care. I started crying while begging, and I cared about that, but couldn't stop.

_Bella…_

They didn't look shocked, but confused. Tanya, started speaking lines I knew only too well. Lines I heard before. "What are you talking about? Bite you? Vegetarians?"

I had to grip my torso when thoughts of last year filled my head. _"You think I lifted a van off you?" _Words on paper. Not my voice.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with this. I wiped away my tears. This was my chance; I wasn't going to blow it. "Stop acting." She was about to say something with the angelic, innocent look I always saw through, "And quit trying to dazzle me. Please. I _know_ what you are. And I want to be what you are. Change me. Please." I looked around. Too many people. I sighed.

"I know you won't admit anything now. How about we go to back to the inn I'm staying at, okay?" I was surprised to see how calm and rational my voice was. I was also surprised to see they looked scared. No, they couldn't be… What could a vampire possibly be afraid of?

They nodded, almost in a daze, I think, and followed me.

_He _sighed.

I started as soon as we got in the room. "Listen. I know this is weird and bizarre and definitely not normal, but you _have_ to bite me."

Irina shook her head. "You have no idea. No idea." She looked at Tanya with that look again. The look that said "What are we going to do?"

"I do. Vampires are after me. They're going to kill me and make it as painful as possible." I was giving to much information. Oh no, oh no. My mouth is acting on it's own. My brain had no say in this. "I need to protect myself. At least be fast enough to run away!" A thought, so painful it almost knocked me off my feet, entered my head. They knew. The Cullens knew. They knew Victoria was going to come back. They left because they didn't want to be responsible for protecting me. I really did chase them away. Oh God. Even Jake would rather spend time with _Sam_ than me. He didn't even know and was smart enough to stay away.

And I broke down sobbing. I was bawling my eyes out. Right there. In front of two amazingly beautiful, gorgeous vampires that proved I never really deserved _him_. I was on my knees, trying really hard to breathe, but failing wretchedly.

I reached into Alice's pocket and grabbed a CD. I remember gripping it fiercely before whispering, "Edward" and promptly passing out.


End file.
